I have found myself in the midst of so much ongoing change lately. I have struggled with the frustration of experiencing and battling the adjustment to the change. While at times it has been fun, it has definitely been exhausting trying to adapt and reanalyze my life. Before the expected change occurred, I already knew in my mind there would be fruit produced from the struggles that I would face. I am so thankful that we serve a God who allows us to be challenged and constantly teaches us during our weak moments. It’s funny.. even though I knew change would bring on difficulties, I yearned for those difficulties to occur. I’ve realized after every tough moment, a wave of peace always follows. During that peace, I am able to hear so clearly from Him. I feel like it’s a cycle…. I go about life, I hit a rock, I struggle, I am challenged, I realize I am human and I constantly fail, I find peace, and then I have mini epiphanies that once again, make me reanalyze how I want to live my life.
That being said, the most recent epiphany I have had is how desperately I long to pursue the creative part of me that God has gifted me in. While my husband and I ventured off to Canada to spend a week away from life and rest our minds, bodies, and spirit in God’s creation, I found the peace I was so desperately needing… only to go back to Austin and have an epiphany that has now stirred my soul. During our time in Canada, I began pouring my heart out to my sweet husband. I treasure those moments because they remind me how blessed I am to have a husband who pushes me to pursue the things God reveals to me. No matter how crazy the thought, he always takes me seriously and helps me believe it is possible to wholeheartedly pursue it. So, you’re probably wondering at this point what the creative epiphany is that I am feeling called to pursue. So, here is the story.
Ever since I was a little girl, my dad has referred to me as his hippie child. I was the kid that drew pictures out of mud, that chalked up the sidewalk with every color of the rainbow, that asked my mom for a perm in Kindergarten, that had artwork hung up in businesses when I was in 1st grade, that wore a tie dye two piece when I was 8, that won ribbons for random art contests in middle school… need I go on? This creativity only worsened as I got older. I really invested time into art projects in high school and was able to have my artwork sold at the Houston Livestock Show & Rodeo. As I ventured to college, I constantly battled how to fuel my creativity but ultimately lost the battle because of a reality check. I was overcome by fear of failure if I pursued art as a major in college. Shortly after that, I lost my brother to a drunk driver. My heart was tragically changed after experiencing such a huge, unexpected loss. For those of you who don’t know, my brother was actually a cancer survivor and had a brain tumor when he was three. That being said, he had a lot of health issues and struggles throughout his life. After losing him, my heart strongly desired to give back to people who needed love and support in difficult moments of their life. At that time, I followed my heart to pursue nursing. I know that it was the right decision for me at the time & it is definitely what I needed and where God placed me to get through such a devastating moment in my life. I was surrounded by nurses everywhere I went… to class, to clinical, at home (I lived with 2 other nursing students), and so on. This was huge in my recovery from depression that I faced shortly after losing my brother. I needed the sweet, gentle, caring spirits that nurses provide to friends and patients. Fast forward, and here I am, working as a nurse at the Texas Fertility Center with a Bachelor’s of Science in Nursing from the University of Texas. God definitely carried me through a tragic time and has blessed me tremendously with my job. But my hippie side is back.
A couple years ago, I watched my best friend, Jessica Hunt, pursue photography as a career. I secretly envied her and wished I could live her life. My heart was in no way shape or form ready to fully pursue photography. Nor would that have been possible… hello! I had to finish school (after 5 long years) and would have never had time to commit to the time and effort starting a business requires. God definitely was not through teaching and equipping me with the connections and tools I needed to be where I am now. So, the journey begins. After long discussions of making my dream of pursuing my creative side a reality, it is all beginning to fall in place. The hope for the near future is to begin my own photography business and pursue artwork for people on the side. I am continuing to work as a registered nurse at Texas Fertility Center and will be doing photography on the side for now.
This journey is to be continued people….. Prayers are welcomed! And encouragement is definitely needed as I begin to embark upon something God has so clearly laid on my heart.